15000 words HSBC terms and conditions update!

A prime example of Sneaky Business dropped onto more doormat today.
HSBC have decide to change some of their terms and conditions.
Now we all know if we actually had to read all the Ts&Cs associated with every business we buy products or services from we wouldn't get much else done.


What I find astonishing (or rather typical of sneaky business) is that when a company has something to sell, they want you to understand the benefits immediately so they can make money out of you as soon as possible.
In those cases, they are able to present the key facts in short simple sentences that are easy to process.
As a writer, it's what I try to do all the time.


However, when the information they want to impart is not beneficial to the customer, they make it as difficult to read, understand and question as possible.
Terms and Conditions are the most obvious example of this kind of sneaky business.


The document from HSBC tells me the conditions of my account have changed.
Rather than giving me a synopsis in 50 words of what the key changes are, they have hidden behind the legal apron strings of small print and sent out a 16 page document of opaque legalese ensuring I can't tell whether I need to close my HSBC account or not.


Let's be clear about what passes for customer service at HSBC.
16 pages or around 116 lines a page - each line of 16 words or so. In total nearly 15,000 words of convoluted gibberish.


Really?
Is that really the best HSBC can do for their customers?
Banks already have a reputation that struggling to pull itself out of it's grime steeped gutter of criminality and double dealing.
And they think the best way to improve that reputation is to hoodwink their customers some more.

Well, I'm setting the bar reasonably high on this one.
But can anyone beat 15000 words of small print in an 'update'?
If so, please send me your best examples of 'sneaky changes to terms and conditions from banks' and we'll create a list of shame.
(Or it would be if that was an emotion that registered with bankers in any form).